Rant about him----sorry

He should never take up this amount of time in my life now unfortunately he is. I posted this in another place so forgive me if you are reading this twice. Different twist...a little.

After not living with him for the last 18 months and not depending on him to pick up his slack....I forgot that he was not dependable for anything. So here I am sitting on Thursday expecting a kid free day for Fri, Sat, Sun and then help next week while I was getting ready to start school. Well....checked my email. "I have to work Saturday, Sunday, Monday and Wednesday. Sorry can't take the kids. Oh and I want to talk to Adam's teachers alone....can you keep Kaitlyn Thursday night?"

ARRRGH you stupid $%^&$(@ I am working that night which is why you are taking her!!!! So again...here I sit trying to figure out what to do. I had plans those days. I was going to do some much needed school shopping for the kids alone over the weekend and take some much needed time for myself. I have no one to watch Adam and those who owe me some child care time either have to work or have a son recovering from surgery. I am really hoping I can get him into child care at my school for Mon and Wed. What is so unfair about the situation is that he agrees to do something then backs out and he doesn't have to worry about what is going to happen to the kids....I do. It is such an inconvience for him to put me in this position at the last minute. I guess being a father is such an inconvience to him. Nope...just swoop in once a week and take the kids out and be the wonder parent taking the kids out on outings all the time and then turn them back into mom to be the true rock for the kids. Must be nice to always be on the fun side. Not that I am begrudging him or jealous because I do fun things with kids all the time. It must be nice just to be that to your kids.

I know I am doing a beautiful job raising my kids. I am so proud of who they are becoming and I believe I am the one who can take all the credit for that. I just hate having the (sorry to be blunt) inconvience of him deciding to make plans and then....oh....sorry....can't do it. I keep telling myself...there is a purpose I am enduring this.....think Montana and family. He is just sewing himself.